I Am Fearless
by StarkidChelsea
Summary: Shiloh lives in the Amity faction but it's not her home. She feels she needs more, a better, more exciting life. So what happens when she decides to leave and join another faction?
1. Amity

"Shiloh, wake up!"

The voice is distant in my ears as I turn over in my bed. I pull the covers over myself and snuggle back into the pillow, ignoring the calls.

Footsteps sound on the floor outside my room as I fall under the grip of sleep again. I hear my door being pushed open as I breathe lightly, my chest rising and falling with a steady rhythm.

"Shiloh, honey, it's time to get up."

Soft hands grip my shoulders lightly and I am shaken from my doze. I open my eyes and I am met with the eyes of my beautiful mother. She smiles her usual sweet smile and her eyes burn bright with happiness of a new day and what it might bring us. Her golden honey colored eyes shine bright in the reflection of the morning sun.

She helps me to sit up and I observe her with sleepy eyes. Today she has chosen to wear her light brown hair down, it falls to her shoulders in soft curls, enhancing her natural beauty. I feel jealous as I avert my eyes.

I smile at her after a short yawn, a quiet chuckle escapes her full lips as she brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. She then leans forward and presses her lips to my forehead between my eyebrows. "Good morning, sweetheart. Your father is making breakfast right now, hurry up and get changed," she ends with a smile.

I nod and try to speak but another yawn eases out of my mouth. I manage an 'OK' as she leaves, closing the door on her way out. I listen as her footsteps echo back to the kitchen, I let out a sigh of frustration, not at my mother but at our way of life. Everyone being happy all the time, it's tiring.

I live in the Amity faction, the faction that is built on friendship, peace and harmony. What a load of bull!

I eventually wake myself up enough to crawl out of bed. I sluggishly drag my feet over to the drawers. Today is the day of the aptitude tests at school, these tests will help us with our choice between the five factions: Abnegation, Amity, Candor, Dauntless and Erudite. I have to choose between the selfless, the honest, the brave, the intelligent or my home, the faction of peace. Tomorrow will bring the Choosing Ceremony and we will make the choice as to where we will be spending the rest of our lives.

For me, I figured that I have two choices, one; stay here with my family and older sister or, two; choose a different faction and live my own life outside of Amity, a life I can live my way.

I yawn again as I pull the top drawer open. A mass of yellow meets my tired eyes as I grab a shirt, I then slam the drawer shut. I hate yellow. I shove the shirt over my head and pull my arms through the sleeves, I pull the top down to my waist as I frown at my reflection as I stand half dressed, still wearing my shorts from last night. The corner of my mouth twitches as I stare at my shirt, I hate it but it's a necessity, we, the Amity, must wear yellow and red.

I turn from my reflection with a sigh as I slide another drawer open. I pull out a pair of red jeans that I favor. I kick my shorts off and continue to get changed.

As soon as I slide my belt into the loop of my jeans, my older sister, Farrah, comes bounding into the room. Of course, she's extremely happy and is as excitable as a small puppy. She grins at me and I try to smile back, it comes out as a grimace.

"Aw Shi, why so glum?" she asks.

"Oh, I dunno, it could be something to do with the damn test that I will be taking in a matter of hours," I retort with more anger than I meant to. "This test helps me decide my after, I'm not ready."

I've never properly felt at home here, I can't be the happy-go-lucky person that everyone wants me to be. I can't be someone who won't face problems, someone who always talks it through to come to an agreement instead of fixing it, which is the Amity way. I have a feeling in my gut, a nagging that aches my muscles, this life isn't for me. I want action, a life with pace, a life of... more.

I fear the aptitude test which I will take later on today; I fear it will tell me that Amity is my future, that I don't belong anywhere else but here. I resolve myself in the fact that this can't happen, I won't allow it. I would have to do everything in my power to show them who I really am, the person I hide from my parents. I want to be who I am… and that's not Amity.

I put on a smile, "sorry. I shouldn't have said that, please forgive me, Farrah."

She answers with a hug that's so tight; I am scared that my insides will pop out my nose if she squeezes any tighter. "You'll do fine in the test. I took it four years ago and I was fine, you will be too," her sincere smile melts my cold demeanour and I smile back.

"Thanks, Farrah. I guess I'm just... terrified of my results."

She arches her perfectly shaped blonde eyebrow at me, "Why are you terrified? You have nothing to fear," her smile falters slightly. "You are happy here, right?"

I lie, "I am."

"Then what's wrong?"

I lift my left shoulder slightly, "I want more."

She looks slightly confused but attempts to cover it up as she guides me by the shoulders to sit in front of the mirror. She picks up my hairbrush, lowering her head in the process. By the time she raises the brush to my brown hair, her smile is back. "Shiloh, I get it. You think you are destined for more and that this world outside our faction is great place but just think about it. This is-"

"What? What is it?"

She laughs lightly, "well if you would stop interrupting, you will find out."

I laugh too, "sorry, habit."

She pulls the brush through my hair as I roll my eyes at it, it never sits right and it sticks up behind my right ear. She notices my eye roll, "I love your hair," she comments absent-mindedly while she runs her slight fingers through my hair, teasing and encouraging it to sit neatly. "Anyway, what I was about to say is that this is your home, Shiloh. You can't leave."

Our eyes meet in the mirror and I frown, "why?"

She rises to her feet, "when will you stop being so selfish?"

I stand up too and face her, I was much smaller than her but I didn't deter from my glare that has snuck itself onto my features. I snap, "probably when I transfer to Abnegation."

She holds my glare with calm eyes, "I hope you are happy with whatever you choose. If you leave, it means you can't come back home."

She turns on her heel gracefully after smiling at me again; she skips out of the room, swiftly closing the door quietly behind her.

I turn back to the mirror with a sigh. My grey eyes glint in the sun's rays as a small smile plays onto my face. I'm not beautiful like my mother or sister as I inherited my dad's features, his small nose, thin lips that turn up at the right corner which gives me a constant smile. I see myself as an average sixteen year old, just me being me.

I find myself wondering what my friends see when they look at me, what my best friend thinks of me, when he looks at me.

When I tear my eyes from myself, I slip into my trainers then skip to the kitchen. The sound of Amity fills the hallways, the sound of laughter which greets me when I enter the kitchen where everyone else is sitting. I observe my family as I sit down in between Farrah and my mother. I raise an eyebrow as the grasp their stomachs from laughing so hard at my father's joke. He has cut circles into his toast and hooked them over his ears. He crosses his eyes as he sees me, he puffs his cheeks up and makes animal noises.

At first, I find it ridiculous but as he continues on, I find myself joining in with the hysterics. After a short while, my dad wipes his eyes and hiccups slightly, this sets my sister again as my mother layered some butter on a slice of toast. My father leans over and kisses my left cheek, his moustache tickling me. "Morning sleepy head, how are you feeling today?"

I shrug, "its aptitude day, I'm nervous."

Not nervous, no, more like… petrified.

For some reason, his grin widens. "I would be worried if you weren't."

I frown, "why?"

My mother moves and my father takes her place beside me. He places his hand over mine. "It shows you are prepared for what is to come. Don't worry about it, Shiloh, it'll be a breeze for you."

He sounds so convinced in his tone; I decide to keep what I really want to say to myself, it'll hurt less this way.

My mom cradles her mug between her hands. "Just remember one thing, can you do that for me?"

I have no idea what she is on about so I just nod. "Be yourself. Nothing more, nothing less."

I nod again then stand up, "right… yeah… ok then."

I kiss each of them on the cheek then leave for the bus to school. I spend the whole journey staring out at the scenery, watching it blur by. I sit at the back of the bus, away from the other students and adults as I think about the test later. I weave my fingers together and blink a few times.

The line echoes in my head as I climb out of the bus and head into the school. As I reach the entrance, the train horn sounds and I turn to watch the Dauntless jump from the carriages. The brave. I swallow as I watch them jump down, they jump with no fear or concern for their own safety.

They are Dauntless. Un-fearing.

"Be yourself."


	2. Test

As usual, the tests are scheduled to take place after lunch, the names to be called ten at a time, I'm near the end. As the tests start up, I sit at the end of the table where we Amity students have taken residence. I sit down beside my best friend, Zahn.

He is busy joking around with the others at the table but I don't hear a word. My mind is in over drive with possible results of my test.

I don't notice as Zahn gently slides his hand over my hand that is resting on my thigh. I spread my fingers and he laces his with his with mine. His touch comforts me and I slow my thoughts down to match the pace of my breaths.

I take in his smiling appearance, his bright green eyes that stand out against his olive skin. His black hair sits neatly on top of his head, if he turns slightly the golden sun will show off honey tints in his hair. I have never seen anything other than pure joy in his eyes since I have known him, which is practically my entire life. I was born a month and five days after him and our parents were extremely close, so naturally we were always around each other.

This ultimately didn't give me much of a choice in being his friend or not, I grew up with him, we were thrown together, he was practically family.

That was, until his sixteenth birthday. We were alone outside and he gave me this long speech about living life to the full, a life with no regret but full of joy, peace and happiness. That we should do everything we can to prevent a life of regret. Then he kissed me.

He asked me out after that and at that time, I had no reason to say no. We get on extremely well and I love spending time with him, joking, laughing, never taking life seriously and generally just being together.

Things change though and I sometimes feel disconnected from him, from everyone. I can't help it, I've tried, it just happened.

As I hold tight to his hand, I hear as more names are called. "Tobias Eaton, Claire Eckles," laughter breaks out from the Dauntless table behind me and I hear a name that sounds like Eric but I don't catch the second name.

I watch as a male from the Abnegation table rises, he pushes his hands into his grey jeans as he walks. He has short dark brown hair, a typical Abnegation haircut. His deep blue eyes seem lost in thought as he holds the door open for the others. The selfless, I wonder how hard it is to live that life, never putting yourself first and to never think of yourself or what you want in life. I find myself trying to figure out his story as he closes the door behind him.

I turn my head slightly and watch the mass of black clothes discuss the size of some object. Well when I say discuss, I actually mean they are very loud and extremely animated with their actions.

The Candor, behind the Dauntless table, are doing the same as me, observing and taking in their surroundings. Yet, they are more relaxed than me.

Another ten names are called and I let out a sigh of relief, my name has still not been called which gives me more time to mentally prepare for the looming choice that I will have to make.

"I think I would like to stay here. Amity is my home and I have everything I need here," Zahn's soft voice drifts into my consciousness.

"So you would never leave? Where's the fun in that?"

I look up to see that Robin has joined us. She sits across from us and is busying herself with a sandwich as she waits for Zahn to reply.

He pauses for a moment, the way his forehead creases, I can tell he is thinking deeply about the question. He would make a great Erudite, especially since he's so smart.

I look up at him and his green eyes lock onto mine. "Well... there's one reason that would make me leave," he then smiles his special smile, the one he only gives to me.

My stomach knots.

My hand climbs to his cheek, his light stubble grazing against my palm as he layers his hand on top of mine. I don't see her but I can tell that Robin is rolling her eyes. "Guys, get a room."

Zahn smirks slightly, "don't worry, we will."

My cheeks burn bright as the warmth of embarrassment spreads across. I roll my eyes at him, "oh just shush, Zahn."

I pull his mouth to mine and our lips merge together in a soft kiss.

"Oh, that's fine then. I'll just sit here while you guys make out... I'll talk to my sandwich... such fun," Robin says to no one in particular.

I remove my hand from his cheek and weave my fingers in his hair at the back of his head as we kiss. I feel his full lips smile against mine, our tongues brushing ever so slightly. He then pulls away, "you're no fun," I grin.

His eyes dart to the door, "I've been called. I have to go for the test now."

I nod, "See you soon?"

He kisses me again, a quick, fierce, warm kiss that leaves me wanting more as I watch him walk away. He winks at me before disappearing with the other nine of his selection. Robin's eyes follows him out too before turning back to her sandwich.

"Shiloh and Zahn, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes-"

I throw a piece of my sandwich crust at her, "be quiet," I say.

We share a momentary look which makes us both burst out laughing. We spend the next ten minutes in tears of laughter, receiving weird looks from the Erudite and the Abnegation tables. We don't care though, this might be the last time we will be together. If I go with what's in my head, I'll lose a lot of friends as well as family. I want to enjoy what I have at this very moment.

"You love me really, Shiloh," she manages to say as her laughing subsides.

I give her a non-committal shrug, "maybe."

She grins again, "wow, I'm really feeling the love from you today."

She pauses as she picks at her half eaten sandwich. "Are you prepared for this?"

I pull the crusts off another sandwich, I hate them. "I think so, not much else can be prepared for. We don't know what will happen in there, do we?"

She nods, "true but still, I've tried to prepare for anything it can throw at me."

"Very clever," I say.

We sit in silence as I nervously make myself eat, I know going in with an empty stomach would make the situation worse so I force myself to eat the food.

I watch Robin as she turns to speak to the girl beside her. She seems so free in her actions and her speech, like nothing in this world fazes her. I wish I could be like her.

I start listing the things that she has that I want, her pretty oval shaped face, her bright sea green eyes. Her slim build and tanned skin, maybe if I was here, this day would be less of an anxious time for me. She seems to have the easy life.

"Shiloh Gynne."

My name is called.

Robin reaches over and squeezes my hand lightly then waves. I wave back then set off with the other nine teenagers. I start to breathe fast, what if the test is inconclusive? What if it doesn't say a thing? What if I break it?

We walk along the corridor that holds the tests and I am ushered into a room where an Abnegation woman is sitting, writing something with her head down.

I clear my throat, "um, Shiloh Gynne."

I bite my lip as I look at the reclined chair that is set in the centre of the room. The woman raises her head and offers me a polite smile, "don't worry, it is perfectly safe."

I nod. "So, what will happen then?"

"Well first, I introduce myself. My name is Jude, I am from Abnegation. I'm here-"

I accidentally interrupt, "I can see that, the grey sort of gives it away."

The woman, about forty in age, looks at me with tired eyes. She runs a pale hand through her greying hair and smiles politely again. "If you could take a seat, we will start momentarily."

I cross over to the chair, my sneakers squeaking on the polished floor as I walk. The noise unnerves me as I sit down and stare at the ceiling. Jude stands and walks to the machine that is on my left, she presses a few buttons while the light burns my eyes. I squeeze them shut as the light starts to make them water. I feel pressure on my forehead head as the circular electrodes are pressed onto my forehead.

I open my eyes to see her attaching wires to her electrode then she attaches them to me. After attaching the wires to the machine, she hands me a vial of liquid. "Please drink."

I take a deep breath then pour the contents into my mouth. I swallow hard then relax back into the chair as my eyes close for the second time.

I open my eyes again and I am aware that my surroundings have changed, I am no longer in the test room. I spin on the spot and come to the conclusion that I am in the school gym. Under the basketball hoop, there is two baskets. I approach them warily as I keep my senses alert.

When I reach them, I kneel down to see two different objects. To my left is a slab of cheese and in the other, it is a threatening looking knife.

A voice sounds, "Choose."

I nod then reach out with my left hand to touch the knife, running my finger over the handle. Without thinking, I clasp my hand around it and pick it up. It feels natural within my grasp. I quickly adjust to the weight of it.

As the shock of how easy it is to hold a dangerous weapon passes, the baskets disappear from view. I rub the back of my neck with my free right hand, the calm stillness of the air is unsettling to me. As I turn the knife in my hand, soft footsteps pad behind me. I turn swiftly, raising the knife instinctively at the incoming noise.

I come face to face with a snarling dog. It's lips curl back over it's huge sharp teeth, I let out a gasp of fear as I stare transfixed. It lowers its body into a crouch and edges towards me, a deep guttural growl resonating from it's throat.

I grip the knife harder as I spread my feet into a comfortable ready stance. If the dog attacks, I need to be ready.

My fingers dance on the knife handle as I start to back away, the dog moves with me so we end up circling each other. From my position, the dog looks to be twice the size of me, in weight and muscle. I have no chance to outrun it, to flee from its loud, terrifying barks.

"OK, OK, stay calm," I mutter to myself as the dog takes a step forward.

I know that I can't show fear, showing fear will tell the dog that I am weak and that is not who I am. I am strong. I am brave.

The dog lunges.

I am dead.

I stumble backwards from the sudden movement and I trip over my own feet. I fall on to my back as it lands, it's front paws plant on the floor either side of my head. A strand of my hair is pinned underneath its muscular, think paw. I can't escape.

Its jaws snap at me, inches from my nose. I close my eyes, waiting for it to take the final snap, the one that rips my throat out, killing me instantly.

But it doesn't come, instead the huge black dog keeps me pinned, it's stomach pulsing with it's deep, long pants. It is deciding my fate, or it's seen the huge knife in my left hand.

The knife!

With one quick movement, I use all the strength in my legs to kick out. The dog is surprised and momentarily stunned as I clamber to my feet. I am breathless as I adjust the knife in my hand again.

"Come at me, Fido," I taunt.

It lunges towards me again and I throw my arm out. I scream in pain as a thick incisor pierces my left forearm. I am flattened to the ground as the mass of dog falls onto me. I can't move my left arm and my wrist is twisted as the knife sinks further into the black fur. I grunt as I try to push it off me with my right hand. I struggle but I am not strong enough to lift the beast from me.

I collapse on to my back and use the back of my right hand to wipe the sweat from my eyes. I grit my teeth at the pain and the suddenly, the dog disappears.


	3. Results

The room disappears and I find myself now on a bus, an empty bus. Well, empty except one man sitting with a newspaper. He is completely hidden behind the black and white print. I throw my hand up to my left arm and clasp it but the pain is gone and there is no blood or wound.

"Nothing is real," I mutter.

I walk towards him, feeling slightly better about not having a hole ripped into my arm. I sit down opposite him to roll my sleeves up past my shoulders, letting the cool air access to more skin as the sweat shines on me.

I recoil slightly when I noticed that the man's hands are burned beyond repair. They are covered in scars and I rub the back of my neck nervously. I realise I am staring so I turn away from him and stare at a spot on the opposite wall. He grips the paper so hard, I think he is about to rip it.

"Do you know this guy?" he says.

I turn back to him and see the headline and picture in which he is talking about. I think for a moment as I read: "Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended!"

Murder? That is completely unheard of in Amity. How could someone do such a thing. But then again, I killed that dog to save myself... is that different from killing a man? Could I kill someone to save myself?

_I could._

I clear my throat and look at the image of the man to distract myself from the thoughts. How do I know this man?

"Well?" He looks at me, "do you?"

I rub the back of my neck again. "I think I do."

His grip loosens slightly. "Who is it?"

His face is still hidden but I can hear the urgency in his voice, the despair of needing to know. Something tugs in my stomach, if I tell him, something bad will happen.

I take a deep breath to calm my thoughts, "It's... it's... I don't know his name."

His grip tightens, "tell me his name."

"I- I don't know."

The name. Why can't I remember the name?

"Tell me!"

I jump to my feet. The face is so familiar to me yet I can't grasp the name. The man stands up and I can see he is wearing black sunglasses. He towers over me, making me feel smaller than I really am. Small like a scared child.

"I-I told you! I know him but I don't know his name."

"The truth! I need the truth... save me."

I cower back slightly as he comes towards me but then I remember that I am brave, I stand up, correct my stance and stare straight at him. "I don't know his name."

He disappears and I wake up in the test room. Jude is still there, offering me a smile as I shake. I clear my throat and realize that it's completely dry.

"Well done," Jude offers. "You have completed the aptitude test."

I try to smile back, "thank goodness."

"I'll have your results momentarily, please relax while we wait."

I try to relax back into the chair as my fingers curl around my left arm. "The dog bit me, I felt it's teeth rip into my skin, it felt so real."

Jude looks at me, "that is just the simulation, nothing would have ultimately harmed you. You were always perfectly safe within the test."

"It was so real."

The ghost of the bite haunts me as I wait, I would say patiently but I have no patience. Not in this situation anyway.

"Here we go. Oh my, what have we got here."

I watch her facial expression as she reads. Her eyebrow creases above her tired eyes, I can't seem to break my gaze as she looks up. "Well, this is not unheard of but entirely rare these days."

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"You are Amity born, correct?"

I nod, "correct."

"Your results have concluded that you are Dauntless. Do you see why this is rare?"

My eyebrows squeeze together as I think. "No, sorry."

She pulls her computer chair over and seats herself in front of me. She rests the results on her lap and I see the words written there, in bold plain writing. "**Dauntless**."

"Amity is the one and only faction which dedicates itself to peacefulness, kindness, generosity, and neutrality."

I nod, I know all of this.

"It just seems strange that a child of this would be more suited to a life with the Dauntless faction. Do you know why?"

I nod again. "Dauntless is the faction that honours itself in bravery and nerve. To be fearless."

"The complete opposite of Amity, I believe."

I sit up straight and swing my legs of the chair. "So you are saying that what my results show... shouldn't happen?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Not exactly my words-" she looks at her watch. "Thank you for your participation. Good luck with the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow. I wish you well with your decision."

I take that as a hint to leave. I find that Zahn has waited for me outside at the school gates. We never travel home without each other.

He pulls me into a hug as soon as I am in arm's length. I slip my hands around his waist and rest them on his lower back. I press my ear to his chest, the sound of his speeding heart comforts me and I finally start to calm down.

He keeps his hold on me tight, "are you OK?"

"I'm fine... now."

I look up at him to see his smile stretch out. He links his hand with mine and we silently agree to walk home.

"So... how did your test go?"

I shrug and his arm that circles my shoulders bobs up and down slightly. "It was OK, I got through it at least. It's tomorrow I'm worrying about now."

"Me too."

"Zahn, everything will be fine, trust me."

He stops outside of my house and turns so he's in front of me. "I trust you, in everything."

I kiss his cheek, "are you still coming over tonight?"

He bites his lip. "I can't, not any more. My mum is convinced I'm going to leave tomorrow so she's demanding we have a family meal. I'm sorry."

I laugh. "She thinks that? I think out of all your brothers, you are the most likely to stay here tomorrow. That's what I think any way."

He tilts his head to the side slightly. "What makes you say that?"

I shrug, "you're you. You're Zahn Mason. You love your family, your friends and ultimately, you love your home. You are Amity personified, if that makes sense. You have no reason to leave."

He hugs me then starts the half a mile walk back to his own apartment. I wave one last time then enter my home. "I'm back," I announce to the stillness.

"In the kitchen!"

I follow the voice and smile at my mother who is at the stove, starting on dinner. "Hi, mum.," I kiss her cheek. "Where should I start?"

I roll my sleeves up again and wait for instructions. She inclines her head to the table. "Can you set that for me?"

"Yeah, sure."

I set out for the cutlery drawer and open it up. I am about to grab some forks when my father enters. "Ah, Shiloh. You are home."

"Yes, father," I walk over to him and give him a quick kiss on his cheek then go back to my duties. "How was your day, father?"

He grins at me, "my day was great. Wait, you had your aptitude test today, right?"

I don't look up from setting the table. "Yeah, I did."

"I know it's forbidden to talk about it but how did it go? Did it go smoothly?" He smiles at me. "Did you get the result you expected?"

"Uh, yeah, it did actually. The results... were conclusive and helped a lot."

Farrah skips into the room, pulling her fiancé, Steve with her. He his about a head taller than her and has messy black hair that makes his blue eyes stand out.

I still can't see what she sees in him. He's always been the loner type yet he managed to start and keep a relationship with my sister. It's a good thing my back is to them as I roll my eyes. There's just something about him I don't like.

Maybe it's the fact he was an Erudite transfer to Amity, I guess I've just never fully trusted his love of knowledge and books. It's unnatural for this faction.

Then again, I am unnatural for this faction.

Rare but not unheard of.

Dauntless.

Steve stands awkwardly beside Farrah as I finish and take my place at the table. "Well, are you going to sit or stand all night?"

"Shiloh! Be polite."

"Sorry mother."

I take a deep breath. I would rather fight the dog again than sit here and have to force conversation with Steve.

"I'm sorry, Steven. Please forgive me."

Farrah makes him sit down beside her and she offers me a slight scowl. "His name is Steve, not Steven. How many times do you have to be reminded?"

I shrug. "Steve had to come from somewhere."

Steve sat up straight while my mother served the food. "Well technically, that is true. My father was called Steven and his father before that. My mother didn't want to call me Steven but my father did. They compromised on Steve."

I pretend I'm interested. "Whoa, what a compromise!"

My mother clears her throat and my father says the grace. The food is passed around and I remain silent, listening to the bustle of conversation at the table. The conversation between my mother and father catches my ears and I can't help but listen.

"There's rumours flying around everywhere. We shouldn't listen to it."

"Do you think it's true?" my mother asks.

He shrugs, "I have no idea. Marcus has always been... odd."

I frown, Marcus?

They notice me watching so I turn to look at my sister and instantly regret it. She is being all lovey-dovey with Steve. I gag loudly on purpose and receive a clip to the ear from my father. "Sorry, but do I really have to see that at the dinner table?"

Farrah laughs. "You would do the exact same thing if Zahn was here."

"No, I wouldn't."

"You are such a hypocrite, Shiloh. If your boyfriend was here, you would act that way, don't lie."

"I'm not Candor, I can lie all I want."

"Shiloh, room, now."

I sigh then walk to my room. It's not he first time I've been sent to my room but hopefully, it'll be the last. As I shut the door behind me, I change to my sleeping clothes and then lie down on top of my bed. For about ten minutes, the air is silent, only being disrupted by my breathing.

I turn onto my side and close my eyes, wishing for sleep to swallow me up.

The bed shifts and someone shakes me awake by my shoulders. I turn over and open my eyes lazily. I am greeted by a fuzzy image of my father. "Dad? What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, I came in to check up on you. It's a big day tomorrow and I just want to see if you are prepared for what your decision might bring."

I force myself up into a sitting position, which I find to be difficult when I am almost completely under the grip of sleep. "My decision?"

"Your faction choice," he says softly.

"Oh, that." I rub my eyes. "Dad, I'm not sure what I want yet."

His "Well, sleep on it and tomorrow, when the time comes, you can make the decision with a clear mind."

He leans down and lightly kisses my forehead before getting back to his feet and crossing back to the door. "Dad?" I croak. "What... what will happen if I choose a different path?"

He smiles at me as he holds the door handle with his hand. "We'll still love you. You'll always be our child, our youngest daughter. If a change is what you want then we'll accept that and continue to love you."

I smile as I lie back down, letting my head sink back into the mould in my pillow. "I love you, dad," I whisper as he closes the door and goes to his room.


	4. Transfer or Not to Transfer

I drag my feet as I walk, after the talk with my father last night, I didn't get much sleep. I sat up most of the night worrying about what I will decide and how it will affect others.

"Shiloh, pick your feet up when you walk."

I rub my eyes, "sorry, I'm tired."

Nonetheless, I pay attention to my steps and lift my feet instead of dragging. Now that I'm more aware, I finally see how many people are actually littering the street outside the school. The Candor are sitting on a patch of grass smoking. I wonder what it would be like to smoke...

Abnegation teenagers are weaving in and out of people, keeping their head bowed down low as they act selflessly in acts such as holding the door open, letting people in front and taking the stairs.

The Dauntless are shouting and cheering as they watch a mock fight between two blacked clothes people. I notice the boy, whose name I heard as Eric, watch them with hawk eyes from the Erudite mass. There was something in his eyes, his stance. I know instantly that he'll choose Dauntless today, I can tell.

Suddenly everyone moves and I realize that the time has come for the ceremony to start as everyone files into the school. As the lifts fill up, I watch as the Abnegation take the stairs, what idiots. There will be in no circumstance where I take twenty flights of stairs to the top. It's madness and I would very much like to use my legs again after today.

"The lifts are full, we need to take the stairs," my father calls as he pulls me towards them.

I groan.

There is some groaning and muttering behind me and I turn to see Zahn running up the stairs, weaving in and out of the climbing bodies. "Sorry, really sorry. Excuse me, sorry." his voice calls.

I turn back to the front as we all reach the top floor and everything enters the ceremony room. I am just about to enter when Zahn lightly tugs me back.

I stumble slightly. "Zahn, what the-? What are you doing?"

His expression is full of panic and distress. "I was thinking last night and I figured something out."

I frown, "what?"

"I understand now, how could I be so blind?"

I place both my hands on his cheeks and rub my thumbs in circles. "Zahn, calm down and talk it out. What do you understand?"

His eyes meet mine. "I understand you."

I am confused. "That's a good thing, right? What's causing this panic?"

He rests his forehead on mine and sighs, "you're not staying."

Oh.

"Zahn, I-"

He presses his lips to mine urgently and I feel his tears merge into our kiss. He thinks this is goodbye. My heart aches. I'm a horrible person.

His lips leave mine and he lets go of me. "My heart goes with yours, forever. Remember?"

He turns on his heels and I realize what he means. "No!"

"Shiloh, what's going on?"

I turn to my father with tears streaking my face. "Zahn, he's going to do something stupid."

He pulls me into a hug and holds me tight to his chest. This could be the last time I hear my father's heartbeat. "Zahn is a mature man. He'll make the right decision that suits him. You shouldn't worry about him, he'll be fine. Focus on your decision today."

"Dad, he's making his decision based on mine, I know it!"

He kisses the top of my head. "Stop worrying, you'll get wrinkles."

He pulls me into the room just as it falls silent and pushes me towards my seat. I offer him a sad smile before sitting down, watching as he takes his seat beside my mother, sister and Steve.

We sit in alphabetical order which means I'm nowhere near Zahn, the place I need to be. I need to change his mind, to convince him that he's being stupid.

Marcus, an Abnegation leader, stands up and he raises his hands, the hall falls into complete silence instantly. I keep my eyes on Zahn, his eyes stay facing the front, his jaw set tight. He's made his decision, I can't do anything now.

"Welcome, welcome to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honour the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in the world."

I look around, I know what is coming next, everyone does. It's the short lecture about us as teenagers and our choices we will soon make. It's the speech they give every year, I'm surprised the crowd don't mutter along with the words at the same time... or tell him to just get on with it since we already know it all.

"Our dependants are now sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be." His voice weighing each and every word as he speaks. "Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not political-"

I rub the back of my neck and let my mind drift as he speaks. I can no longer look at Zahn as it hurts too much so I let my eyes wander. The Abnegation crowd catch my attention. More specifically, the male named Tobias Eaton. It is like he's staring at me but as I look harder, I realize he's staring beyond me and at the wall behind.

"Those who blamed aggression formed Amity."

My mind races with ideas, trying to guess his past, his present and what he will choose for his future. His expression is a mix between fear, relief and heartache as I watch his knee bounce up and down. He seems to be uneasy and jumps slightly whenever Marcus speaks.

He catches me watching and I can't break my gaze. His blue eyes bore into mine and I feel that he'll attack me if I look away.

"Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite."

I can't break my stare, I need help.

"Those who blamed duplicity created Candor."

Tobias looks away and I sigh in relief, I'm free.

"Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation."

I am selfish, I know that now.

"And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless."

The Dauntless... my results.

"Working together, these five factions have lived in peace for many years, each contributing to a different sector of society..."

Zahn finally looks at me and his cheeks are still tear stained. It pains me to see this side of him, I don't like it. I want him to be happy, laughing. I want him to be Amity Zahn. But something snaps inside of me and I frown at the ground. His tears make him look weak, pathetic, small. I rub the back of my neck, why am I thinking like this? Tears should not determine the strength of a person. In fact, it takes more strength to show your emotions than to hide them. I should be proud that Zahn can be this honest with how he feels. Why does it disgust me?

My mind races and Marcus' words punctures my own thoughts. "Therefore this day marks a happy occasion—the day on which we receive our new initiates, who will work with us toward a better society and a better world."

I notice Tobias scoff at those words. Wow, this guy's got issues.

The five bowls in the centre finally catch my eye as sixteen year olds start going out, one by one to choose their future, their faction.

Gray stones for Abnegation. Earth for Amity. Glass for Candor. Water for Erudite. Lit coals for Dauntless. We must spill our blood into one of these bowls.

I watch nervously as one by one, they take a knife to their hand and release the blood to their chosen faction. So far, no one has transferred yet.

I'm next.

"Shiloh Gynne."

Somehow my feet move forward as my heartbeat gets stuck in my throat. Now or never. Don't think about it. Just do it.

Marcus hands me the knife as I stand looking at the bowls. I take it in my left and bite my lip. I feel the gaze of my family on my back as I hesitate, now is the time I have to ultimately choose. There's no turning back now. I can't escape.

I wonder what would happen if I just stuck the knife into Marcus and ran. I would be free... until they kill me. But at least I would be free, no choice. Dead, but no choice.

I shake my head. Stop thinking about killing people!

Stones, that's a no go. Glass, definitely not. Water, heck no!

I stand in front of the Amity bowl and stare at it. My home, can I truly be happy there? Will I grow up and marry Zahn, have a happy life? Is that what I want?

I drag the knife over my palm and bite back a yelp. It stings badly and I feel my eyes are about to betray me and start to water.

Without thinking, I thrust my hand over a bowl and let the blood drip into it.

The coals sizzle. I am dauntless.

The crowd gasps and I hear my mother's anguished cry as I walk over to the Dauntless initiates. Marcus calls for silence as he announces the next name.

"Tobias Eaton."

I watch as the brown haired male walks with his head bowed low to the table. He flinches back slightly as he accepts the knife. He slides the knife over his palm and instantly holds his hand over the coals. He's chosen Dauntless too. The crowd erupts into noise as his decision sinks in.

Pain flashes across Marcus' face at this choice as he takes the knife back. Tobias clenches his fist over his cut and takes his place beside me. He's about a head taller and looks more striking up close. His hands are clasped behind his back but this time, his head is held high. I nudge him slightly to get his attention. "Are you OK?" I whisper.

He doesn't look at me. "Yeah," he breathes back.

I nod and focus back on choosing. There are two transfers to Erudite. Three to Amity and one to Abnegation. The majority have stayed within their own factions and returned to what they know. Tobias and I are the only Dauntless so far.

The coals sizzle. Make that three Dauntless transfers. Eric has selected this faction over his home faction, Erudite.

There are two more people before Zahn and my heart starts to sink. I know exactly what he'll do, I just hope I'm wrong.

One more for Erudite as the water turns a darker red.

One for Candor as the drops of blood ping onto the glass.

"Zahn Mason."

I watch in shock as he walks to the table and accepts the knife. He stands in front of the table, his eyes flicking between two bowls.

I grasp the nearest thing to me, Tobias' arm. "No," I whisper into the air.

Zahn raises the knife to his hand and rests the point of the blade on his palm, ready to drag it across and release the blood.

A muscle in Tobias' arm moves yet he does not remove my hand as I grip tighter. "Please, no," I plead quietly.

He drags the knife across and the red pools into his palm. He sets the knife down and clasps his hand shut. He holds his hand to his chest and closes his eyes. The space between his eyebrows crease in thought as he takes a deep breath.

"NO!" I find myself yelling.

He turns to look at me, his eyes alive with the decision he has just made.

"Don't do this!"

"I have to," he says before letting his blood fall.

I sob as I grip Tobias' arm. Eventually he jerks his arm and puts his arm around my shoulders. An act of comfort, yet is does not do it's job. My gut wrenches and my heart fails as I watch.

I can't bare it any more as I turn my head and sob into his shoulder. This is my fault. All my fault.

Zahn is Dauntless because of me.

He won't last.


	5. Jump

The tears have subsided by the time the last person has chosen, she chose Candor, and I slide my hand from Tobias' arm. I mutter a sorry and keep my eyes trained on the floor.

To my left and right, all I see is black. I am glad to some extent, it means no more yellow for me. Tobias' feet shift slightly as he waits beside me. He almost seems impatient, like he wants to leave right now. I lift my head slowly to look down the line at Zahn, he has his hands clasped behind his back, his eyes front not looking at anything in particular.

As I look at him, it's like I am seeing him for the first time again. I notice his muscled arms, his set muscular jaw and his intense eyes. _How have I not noticed this?_

Is it a Dauntless trait to notice physical attributes?

I can't help but stare at my boyfriend - if I can still call him that – and bite my lip with yearning. I want to be near him. I realize that he was more ready to make this choice than I was. I would wish for nothing more than to be in those arms and be reassured that everything will be alright.

There is movement and I'm swept along with the Dauntless crowd, we are leaving now it seems. I plant my feet and stop, searching the sea of bodies to find my family. When I do, I wish I had just kept moving. My mother is sobbing into Farrah's shoulder. Stupid Steve is still seated, his face clueless, his knee bouncing like he doesn't know what to do. Farrah's eyes find mine and bore straight into my core, a look of betrayal and hurt.

My father smiles despite the situation, his hand clasped around my mother's, an act of comfort to her. He doesn't seem to be to cut up about it but then again, I know he knew about my conflict. I didn't want to stay and he respected my decision.

He waves at me as I get distracted by he crowd. I quickly wave back as I am forced out of the room and down the stairs.

The stairway is filled with cries, whoops and cheers as the Dauntless' feet pound noisily on the stairs, making our way down to the exit. I ignore the burning sensation that stings my eyes from my tearing session and the sweat that is now evident on my brow. Laughter fill my ears and a smile creeps onto my face.

My thighs and chest burn as I keep up with the others. With every step I take, I feel stronger and more... free.

The front doors are pushed open with too much force and one hangs from it's hinges. I blink as my tired eyes adjust to the bright sunlight outside. A train horn sounds in the distance and images of how the Dauntless arrive pass into my vision.

The speed of our feet pick up as we head straight to the train track.

We have to jump on.

My heartbeat catches in my throat as I gulp, I don't know if I can do this but nonetheless, I keep my pace up and power on.

Zahn appears beside me, his cheeks flushed like mine yet he seems more at ease with the physical stress than I do. I keep my eyes forward as he does, focusing on the people in front. For me, it was more focusing on the feet in front and my own, to make sure I didn't trip myself up – as I tend to do sometimes. The front section of the Dauntless mass start to leap onto the train, I can tell that they are all Dauntless born as they jump smoothly with no worries or cares.

I spot Eric landing in the train carriage, smirking at his own achievements. The others seem to ignore him as he tries to boast about his jump. Tobias is the next face I recognise to make the jump. He immediately sits himself in the furthest corner from everyone as he stares at the floor.

Zahn jumps first, hitting his knee off the edge. He kneels up and beckons me in with his hands. A look of urgency on his face. I speed up and jump when he yells for me to do so. I power of the ground with my legs and land on the carriage floor in a lump.

He pulls me to my feet and nods. "Well done," he says flatly.

He then sits down and pulls his jeans leg up to take a look at his knee. It's not cut but I can tell by the redness that it will be severely bruised in the morning.

I sit down beside him so that our shoulders touch. I don't say a word as I look around, gazing at my knee faction members. Some are sitting like myself. Some are laughing still, like this is just a walk in the park, no big deal and others, they are pacing the floor, wearing it down with nerves. Eric runs a hand through his hair, the smirk still evident on his cocky face.

A small sigh escapes my lips and I look up at Zahn, his face still impassive and unchanging. "I'm so sorry," I whisper.

He slowly turns to me. "You have to stop that," he says.

"Stop what?"

His warm hand finds mine and my heart leaps, he still has the same touch as before. I can already feel my insides calming down as I turn my hand palm up to link our fingers. He stares at our hands for a long time, weighing his choice of words to answer me.

"Being a Dauntless is about being brave, you have to prove that you are what they want. To show their traits and basically be one of them." His eyes meet mine. "Stop apologizing for your choice, it happened and you have to move on and become stronger."

All I can do is nod.

He continues, his features soften slightly as he brushes his cheek with a soft hand. "I don't want to see you hurt."

I lean my cheek into his hand. "I don't want you to be hurt either."

He smiles for the first time today. "I won't, I'm going to kick their asses and show them how we Amity do it."

I chuckle. "Kick their asses with peace, kindness and generosity. Yeah, that'll go down well."

His eyes turn serious. "Just promise me you won't regret this choice. A life of regret-"

I interrupt him, finishing his sentence, "-is not worth living."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

As the train speeds along the track, we seal the promise with a kiss.

I feel eyes on me as our lips continue to merge together in a smooth movement but I don't care, for all I know, the initiation might take our time up and I might not get the chance again. His fingers knot in the back of my hair and I smile at the contact.

A sneer echoes from Eric's throat. "Do you have to make us throw up?"

Zahn breaks the kiss and smirks slightly. The action looks alien on his features. "Then don't watch and bugger off."

The former Erudite runs his hand through his short black hair once again, a twisted smile appearing on his lips, giving him a cold, hard and intimidating look. I squeeze Zahn's hand tight as Eric slides the glasses on his nose back up. "Don't tell me what to do. I'm clearly more superior than you, you have no chance."

I snap, "Let me guess, you read a book about being superior?" I can't help but smirk at my own words. "Sorry to let you know but I don't think it's working. You should go back to Erudite and study more."

He snarls and takes a step towards us but his path is blocked by a huge Dauntless born. He has jet black hair that stands out against his pale complexion. His eyes are almost as black as hair. "Don't you dare, now is not the time." With one push, Eric is thrown against the train wall and the male turns to everyone. "In about a minute, we have to jump. Get on your feet and be ready," he nods at another male then stands at the edge, watching the scenery flash past. His eyes intense as he spots something that we don't. "Get up now," he shouts over the roar of the wheels as they slow down slightly.

Seconds later, he jumps and other follow him. Zahn pulls me up and I bite my lip at the gap. I watch as the male who reprimanded Eric landed and rolled to his feet.

I run to the edge with Zahn and together we jump from the train. My feet plant on the roof of the building and I fall flat on my stomach. Luckily Zahn's landing is hardly graceful and when we stand up, we let out a laugh.

I look back to the train and I see that a boy and a girl have both remained. They have chosen to be Factionless. No one can help them now.

The jump is exhilarating and I wish to get back on the train to do it again but an older man speaks up. He is standing on the edge with no care in the world that he could fall and die. "Listen up, my name is Max and I am a leader of this faction. You made the jump from train but below me," he motions with a thumb behind him, "is the Dauntless headquarters."

I look at him, his dark hair just starting to grey sits on his creased brow. A few shouts and murmurs resonate from the throats of initiates around me. "That's just a black hole, do we have to jump again? I don't think I can," a small girl says.

Max laughs, it chills me. "It's the members entrance. If you won't jump then why are you here?" His eyes harden. "It's jump or to be factionless, your choice."

Eric steps forward, his smug smile back. "Bring it."

Without a word, he jumped feet first into the hole. The girl who spoke up squeaked slightly. "Whose next?"

One by one, people jumped down into the black abyss. Zahn pulls me towards it and I falter slightly. "You go first," I mutter.

He nods and without another word, he jumps into the hole. I bite my lip and turn to see who is left. Shockingly, Tobias is one of them. I frown then approach him. "Are you OK?" I ask quietly.

He nods, he's almost white as a sheet. "I'm fine," he manages to say.

"Scared? I am too, heights are horrible," I offer.

He nods slowly, "yeah, horrible," he repeats.

Max folds his arms over his chest. "Make the jump or leave," he states.

I place a hand on Tobias' shoulder. "We jump together?"

He walks with me to the edge and looks down. A flash of panic crosses into his eyes then within moments, it's gone like it wasn't there. His jaw is set and he braces himself. "I can do it."

I wish I had his determination. Fear is not easy to ignore.

"Great," I murmur, my fear is not quite ignored yet.

He turns to me and gives me a small smile. "Come on, if I can do it, you can too." He turns back to the hole. "Find that inner self that allows you to be brave."

With that he jumped and I gasp slightly. Max steps in line with me. "It's jump or-"

"Be factionless, so you've said," I sigh.

He chuckles, "not the reaction I expected from an Amity born."

I take a step back. "I'm not what anyone expects."

He raises a greying eyebrow at me. "Are you backing out? Is the jump too scary?"

I grit my teeth. "Not. At. All." I take a running start to will myself on, then I jump.

I close my eyes as I fall through the air, my stomach churns violently and I want to throw up but within seconds, I hit something and I bounce.

A net.

I stand up and stumble slightly. A pair of hands reaches out and pulls me from the net. "Thanks," I groan as I rub my left hip.

"You're welcome."

I look up and I am met with the harshest eyes I have ever seen. His thin lips have no trace of a smile on them as he backs off and walks to the front of the crowd. His muscles bulge from under his black t-shirt as he looks around at the initiates.

His eyes are still on me as he opens his mouth to speak. "Name?"

I stand stunned for a few moments. His voice is like liquid, smooth, calm and endearing. Yet his appearance shows that he can kill me with one finger if he wanted to.

I clear my throat. "Shiloh. Shiloh Gynne."

He nods then raises his voice.

"Welcome to Dauntless."


	6. Introductions

"Welcome to Dauntless," he announces. "I'll be the instructor for the transfers."

A tall red head walks towards us and stops at the male's side. She nods at him and he tilts his head slightly back at her. She turns her attention back to us. "I shall be instructing the Dauntless born, yes, that does mean you will be training you but no, that does not mean I'll be easy. I'll warn you now, don't mess with me," I am surprised at how calmly she says that. Her appearance looks soft but inside and when she speaks, she's tough as nails. I'm starting to be glad I have the tall blonde as an instructor.

The blonde male steps forward, removing the other instructor from his sight. "I am Elijah Spencer. No, you will not call me Eli or any other alternative to my name. You will treat me with respect and if I tell you to do something, you'll do it."

The female behind the male, who introduced himself as Elijah, rolls her eyes. Unlike his deep set scowl, her face is alive with a smile. Like she's happy to be here or something. As she talks, I take in her appearance, she's pale, really pale. I guess that's what happens when you grow up living as a Dauntless. Her dark grey eyes wander the crowd of initiates as she explains the living arrangements.

My eyes wander to Elijah's and I notice his are grey, like fog, deep, thick, misty fog. For a moment I am stunned by how fierce and angry he is but then the red head interrupts. "Oh how silly of me, I forgot to introduce myself. As you already know, this is Elijah. Don't worry about his permanent scowl, he's really a fluffy bunny inside... deep, deep inside... somewhere," she shrugs.

Elijah frowns, he's not amused by her easy going attitude. I should look away but the pair of them intrigues me. I find my eyes darting over her face as she continues to introduce herself. "Anyway, the names Pru. I'm twenty-six years young and I'm here to teach you to kick ass. Elijah, my pal over here," she pats his shoulder and he winces slightly. "Elijah here, is here to scowl and possibly shout at you all. It's going to be fun."

I feel Elijah's pain, she is slightly annoying and I can tell by his facial expression that he would rather kick her off the roof and remove the net so it doesn't catch her.

A small piercing glints under the artificial light. Countless tattoos litter her arms and her neck. I can't make out any in particular but one stands out as she waves her hand around while she speaks. She has a small lion's head tattooed onto the skin of her left hand, I wonder what it means as Elijah cuts her speech short.

"Listen up, you guys picked Dauntless. This will be no picnic, no walk in the park. Most of you will regret switching factions within three days. I can guarantee you that right now."

Pru claps her hands together, "well, isn't this just... fun?"

Elijah rolls his eyes, "follow us and we'll take you to your dorm."

We walk in silence behind the pair, my hand firmly gripped in Zahn's. I watch the back of Eric's head as he walks beside Tobias. I hear some of their conversation.

"So, what's a Stiff like you doing here?"

Tobias grunts in reply.

"I mean, it's not like you can fight or anything. Stiff's are useless in my opinion, they can't do anything."

A low guttural growl resonates from deep within Tobias' throat. He grasps Eric by the shirt and slams him into the nearby wall. "Don't mess with me."

Eric snorts. "Oh look, the Stiff has a temper." He struggles against Tobias' grip. "Get your hand off me now!"

I am pushed out the way and Elijah tears Tobias from Eric. He pushes him away and rolls his eyes at Eric. "You'll have your moment to fight," Elijah addresses us all. "Under no circumstance will there be any fighting outside of training. If I hear one utter of a fight, even just a punch, you'll be severely punished. Dauntless is bravery," he looks at Eric. "Not stupidity."

Pru shouts over the noise. "Well, that was..." She trails off. "Elijah I must be off now, enjoy. Anyway guys, Dauntless born follow me." She turns on her heels and just more than half of the initiate number follow her.

The muscled blonde starts to walk again and motions for us to follow. I raise an eyebrow as Eric dusts himself off, muttering profusely under his breath.

Elijah pulls a door open and points his finger in. "Move."

We all file in and we now stand in a room with bunk beds. I look around for a sign that says if this is a male or female room but there is nothing, just beds and drawers. Tobias frowns. "Where are the males sleeping?"

Elijah's jaw sets. "In here."

Tobias' eyebrows raise, "and the females?"

"In here."

"But... that's not right."

Elijah rolls his grey eyes again. "Is a Stiff scared off some females?"

It's Tobias' turn for his jaw to clench. "No."

Eric snorts and I glare at him. Elijah snaps his fingers and the attention is turned back on him. "Yes, you will _all _be sleeping in this room. I don't care what you do, I don't want to hear about it. Now if you'll follow me, we will go for dinner... I'm starving."

A few people chuckle and I walk with Zahn to the place where we will be eating. Elijah leaves us to our own devices as Max draws his attention.

"Well, he seems... interesting."

The girl in front turns and arches an eyebrow at me. "Interesting? He's terrifying, did you see the way he tore that guy in the grey from that other guy? That's a lot of strength."

I nod, "true but that doesn't make him bad. I bet he's nice once you get to know him."

She laughs slightly. "I don't plan on making nice with him any time soon," she holds her hand out to me. "The names Zoey Burton."

I shake her hand. "I'm Shiloh Gynne," I tilt my head in Zahn's direction. "This is my boyfriend, Zahn Mason."

He politely smiles and shakes her hand too. "Hi, nice to meet you."

I lean into his side and he puts an arm around me, using his free hand to collect both of our food on a tray. We walk over together with Zoey and find seats at the bottom of the table, away from most of the initiates. Zoey sits down across from us. "You transferred together... cute."

I blush slightly. "I wouldn't exactly call stupidity cute."

Zahn mocks Elijah's voice. "_This is a faction of bravery not stupidity._.. I guess I've failed already."

We all laugh.

The golden voice chuckles behind me and my head snaps around to look at him. "Nice impression, I would give it a 6 out of 10. You've got to work on the voice more."

Zahn holds his hand out to him. "I'll try harder next time then," he grins. "Zahn Mason, Amity transfer."

Elijah takes the empty seat beside me and bites into his burger. "Good for you," he looks at Zahn's raised hand. "What? Am I supposed to give you a medal or something right now?"

I reach out and lower his hand and clasps my fingers around, holding tightly as I look at Elijah. "When do we start?"

He raises an eyebrow at me as he swallows his huge bite. "Eager I see, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. First off, the rules."

He stands up on the table and with two fingers in his mouth, he whistles and the room falls silent. "You've made it this far but now, now comes the kicker."

Pru stands up too. "You have all chosen to be here and we salute you for your bravery but we must proceed with the initiation like we always do."

Elijah nods. "The Dauntless born will train separately from you transfers for the first stage of initiation. At the end of each stage, rankings will be posted. Be warned, we are watching everything you do. We won't tolerate laziness here."

Pru continues as I bite my lip at the prospect of being watched, of being ranked. "Every morning you will be in the training for eight o'clock and you will train for ten hours, with a lunch break in between. What you do after training is up to you."

Zoey whispers across the table to us. "Did you know we would be ranked?"

We both shook our heads. "No," I whisper back.

Pru once again claps her hands together. "Now chop chop, get to bed!"

I turn over and sigh, I can't get comfortable in this bed. I turn my head and watch Zahn's bare chest rise and fall as he sleeps peacefully on top of the bed beside mine. I can't decide if I'm happy with this or intimidated. I've never been this close to him and I definitely have not seen him shirtless before. It feels weird to gaze at him.

I bite my lip and change my stare to the bottom of the bunk above me, the one Zoey decided to sleep in. I've only been a faction transfer for a matter of hours yet I can already see and feel the change within me. For example, I have so many unclean thoughts running through my head, I don't even recognise myself.

I sit up and rub my eyes. _This is ridiculous, he's your boyfriend, you're allowed to look. _Why don't I sound convinced by my own words?

He mumbles something softly as he dreams, his eyes flicking around under his closed eye lids. I smile as I watch him. I hope he is dreaming of something nice as I bring my knees up and wrap my arms around them.

Training starts tomorrow. I think about the tasks that will be given to us. From Elijah's words today, I can guess that we will, at some point, be fighting each other. I look over at Tobias' bed and raise an eyebrow at his figure. He is sitting up with his head on the back board, "Tobias, are you awake?" I whisper to him.

"Yeah," he whispers back.

"Do you think we'll really have to fight each other?"

"I hope so," he shrugs.

I swing my feet off the bed and walk over to his, sitting at the end of his. "Why? Because of Eric?"

He nods.

I shake my head. "Don't let him get to you. That's what he wants, you know. To get under your skin and distract you from your purpose."

"My purpose?" His voice is low as he looks over at Eric's bed.

"Yeah, your purpose... the reason you came here in the first place. If you let him in, let his words affect you like this, your choice will begin to mean nothing and you'll forget why you wanted to be here."

He smiles slightly as his blue eyes gaze around. "I just realized that I haven't introduced myself properly. My name is Tobias."

I smile, "just Tobias?"

He nods. "Just Tobias."

I laugh quietly. "Well Just Tobias, my name is Shiloh."

"Just Shiloh?"

I stand up and cross to my own bed. "Just Shiloh," I laugh again as I lie down. "Thank you for your help, Tobias. You didn't know me and I didn't know you but it helped."

He yawns and his bed creaks as he lies down too. "You're welcome. Night Just Shiloh," he yawns again and turns over a few times, trying to get comfortable.

"Goodnight Tobias," I smile into the darkness then I close my eyes, willing sleep to take over.


	7. Fire

I look around as all of the initiates file in. There are ten of us standing in a line, some I recognize, some I don't. Zahn is beside me, his hands clasped behind his back and Tobias on the other side of him. His feet slightly apart and his stance stiff. Zoey stands beside Eric at the end of the line, her face focused into not showing any emotion. Elijah walks in wearing a black sleeveless top and black jeans. For the first time, I notice the tattoo that wraps around his left upper arm that flicks up onto his neck. It looks like black flames licking at his skin without burning as my eyes fix on it. His arm muscles twitch as he grabs something out of his back pocket and within seconds, I have a gun pointed at me, the nozzle resting between my eyebrows.

Zahn jumps slightly and is about to react when Elijah speaks, "Don't even think about it, Hippy."

I stand my ground, terrified inside but determined outside. I keep my eyes on his and he holds my stare with ease. He doesn't take his eyes off me, "Today you learn how to shoot a gun," I feel Eric's smirk crawling up my skin. "I will then teach you how to fight. But for today, we shoot."

The muscle in my jaw moves as I swallow my breathe. The gun is still pressed to my forehead. Elijah goes on to explain. "You will be tested on your physical, your emotional and your mental capabilities. Stage one, the physical. The better you perform, the higher your rank. The lower your rank – well let's just say your ass will be getting kicked. You can improve your score within any given task," his grey eyes blink at me as I rub my fingers against my palms. Sweat.

"Do you have to point the gun at her head? Is it necessary?"

_Zahn shut up!_

Elijah eyes flicker then look away from me, meeting Zahn's gaze instead. "Is loverboy worried about his girlfriend?"

Zahn glares slightly and I cut in before he can speak. "Just ignore him, he's being an idiot."

Elijah places the gun behind his back, through his belt. "You'll do well to follow your own advice." He turns his back on her and goes over to the side where he picks up a gun and in turn, he places on into each of our hands.

The weapon is heavy to me and I feel my arm struggling to hold it up. I attempt to talk to Zahn but he has a deep set scowl and is refusing to look in my direction as he acquaints himself with his gun. Elijah stands in front of us, his arms folded over his chest. "We have a saying here at Dauntless and that is this; 'Preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear.' You need to be able to defend yourself and this, this is what I'm teaching you."

The small boy that stands beside me speaks up, his voice quiet and soft. "Can you show us how?"

Elijah nods then addresses him, "Name?"

He shifts his weight from foot to foot and his shoulder accidentally brushes against mine. "Mikey, Sir."

Elijah chuckles briefly. "I am not a school lecturer nor am I anything that would class me as a 'sir', call me Elijah. And to answer your question, yes, I will show you. Just this once."

He whips around quickly and with one fluid moment, he raises the gun to shoulder height. His left arm is outstretched, holding the gun and his right arm is bent, cupping the bottom for added support. I watch intently for his stance, his shoulder width apart feet and his straight back. He breathes deeply and slowly, concentration etched on his face. His shoulder blades squeeze together and then a deafening sounds erupts into the entire room. He hits the target square in the middle then turns around and acts like it was the easiest thing to do on the planet. "Remember, breathing, control and technique. Now choose a target and get practising."

Everyone turns to their targets and attempt to copy his stance. I stand there, with the gun at my side. Just like the knife, it scares me how natural this feels within my grasp. Eric is first to shoot, he hits the edge of the target but he laughs anyway, he hit the target. I watch as Zahn prepares his body for the shot, he lines it up carefully, squeezing one eye shut as he takes aim. I bite my lip as I watch him as he squeezes the trigger. His bullet hits the edge of the board, he sighs and prepares to go again. "Stop watching me and get on with it," he looks at me. "You don't want to be ranked below an idiot."

I raise an eyebrow at him, "Really? You're caught up on that? Let it go, Zahn." I sigh and turn back to my own target.

"I have let it go," he punctuates each word with slight venom as he squeezes the trigger again, still missing the mark.

I bite back a laugh as I raise the gun to shoulder height, keeping my left arm straight and my right for support. "Try telling that to your face," he turns to look at me and I wink at him. His mouth twitches into a smile and I smile back.

Elijah watches intently as gunshots fill the air. Mikey beside me has managed to hit the target once but it's Eric and Tobias who have mastered it. Every shot of Tobias' has hit the target, almost dead centre every time. The concentration of his face is unbelievable, like he shuts out the entire room. Zoey bites her lip as she watches Eric get angry, he has now missed twice.

"A gun is not a weapon but a means for defence. They should only be fired if your life has been put at risk. If it's you against one other person and they have a gun raised against you, what do you do?"

The girl along the line raises her hand and Elijah points to her. "I would run," she squeaks.

He laughs, not a cruel laugh but a slightly amused laugh. "If you run, Aylin, then that is what we call cowardice and that is not tolerated here."

She nods. "OK," she turns her attention back to her gun.

He walks behind the row of ten initiates. He's almost behind me, I can nearly feel his breath on my neck. "Anyone else? How about you, Shiloh, is it?"

I turn to face him, "Yeah, it's Shiloh."

His lips stretch up to his left and he smirks. "A name of peace, very suitable for an Amity child."

I grit my teeth at him. "I'm not a child."

He raises his eyebrows at me, giving me a full view to his grey eyes. I get caught up with them for a second but snap back to reality when he speaks. "Well then, Shiloh, who is not a child." He walks around me. Tell me then," he raises his gun to my forehead again and I go slightly crossed eyed while keeping my eye on it. "What do you do if you are in this situation – and the person is out to kill you?" He stares at me, waiting for a reply.

I slowly smirk at him. "I kill them before they kill me," he looks impressed as I punch his gun away and turn to aim my gun at the target. I relax and set my stance correctly then I squeeze the trigger.

BANG!

It hit dead centre and I turn back to him, "Any other questions that you would like to ask?"

Zahn has a huge grin on his face behind Elijah but it's not him or anyone else I see. My eyes are on him and him only. He slowly bites his lip then turns away from me. He looks at his watch as Zahn raises an eyebrow at me, "_What_?" I mouth to him.

He shakes his head and looks down at his gun then frowns.

Elijah claps his hands together and points to the door, "Lunch! You have one hour for lunch, if you're not back in time, you will be punished."

Everyone hands their guns back in and I am last to hand mine over. He looks up at me as he takes the gun. "Nice shooting by the way," he says.

"Uhm... thanks," I reply.

He places his palms on the edge of the gun table and leans back on them, "So, tell me, how does a Hippy like you have such a capability with a weapon like the gun?" He looks interested.

I shrug. "I'm a fast learner. I watched what you did and replicated it with my own body – it's not that hard to do."

He nods, "Fair enough. Keep up the good work," he turns away from me and the conversation is ended just like that.

I walk to the door then pause at a thought. I turn my head back to him. "Elijah? What happens to those who are ranked last?"

He sighs, his back tensing slightly. Without looking at me as he cleans a gun out, he says. "If you don't perform to the highest of standards deemed worthy by the Dauntless then you are thrown out," he shakes his head slightly, like he doesn't agree with it. "You become factionless."

_Factionless._

That word floats in my consciousness as I stare at my lunch. It's as simple as that, if I'm not good enough, it's over. I lose my old faction and my new faction. Factionless.

My jaw tenses, _that won't happen. I won't let it, _I think to myself as a pick up a roll. Zahn is in a conversation with Zoey and a girl that I haven't spoken to or heard speak yet. I think her name is Carrie – or something like that.

"So what do you think, Shy?"

I snap out of my trance, "Huh? What?"

Zahn laughs, "I was asking if you agreed with what Carys said," he grins at me.

_Carys... Ah, I was close enough._

"Agree about what?" I clearly have missed a lot in a short space of time.

Carys laughs too and looks at Zahn with a look that makes me want to jump over the table and throttle her throat. "I was asking Zahn if being a vegetarian in a situation like this is – healthy to their way of life," she looks at him again. "He says it's not but I disagree, I've been a vegetarian my whole life and I'm fit, I have no health issues at all."

_Really? I have to sit here and listen to this rubbish?_

I shrug, "No idea, I eat meat." I raise to my feet still holding my roll. "I'll see you both at training," Zahn looks like he is about to follow so I press my palm against his chest and push him back down. "Eat. Talk. I'm fine, I'll see you soon." I say before planting a kiss on his cheek.

Without looking back, I walk out turning the roll over and over between my fingers.

As I get to the end of the corridor, I hear a voice. It belongs to a male and it sounds strained. I press myself to the wall and remain out of sight as I hear the conversation. "That Stiff and the Amity girl seem to be my strongest competition. I take them out, I'll get ranked top for sure," I recognise that voice.

A voice replies, "How are you going to do that?"

"I come from Erudite, I'll think of something. It can't be that hard to dispose of a Stiff and a small girl."

I grit my teeth and my fists clench up. The voice belongs to Eric, is he that spiteful and arrogant? The other voice troubles me, I don't know who it belongs to.

I don't know who my enemy is.


End file.
